“After announcing, on Thursday, that it would seek $500 million to help ‘train and equip appropriately vetted elements of the moderate Syrian armed opposition,’ the White House today posted the following Moderate Syrian Rebel Application Form:  ‘Welcome to the United States’ Moderate Syrian Rebel Vetting Process. To see if you qualify for $500 million in American weapons, please choose an answer to the following questions.'”

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/moderate-syrian-rebel-application-form

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