“Ms. Francis tallies up the trillions of dollars worth of land, irrigated crops, oil and gas reserves and gold that Canada would be bringing to merger negotiations. After crunching the numbers, she concludes that under her full-merger model, ‘every Canadian would be entitled to a lump sum payment [from the United States] of $492,529’. Also, to ensure continuity with our hallowed universal-health-care ideals, we Canadians would be provided with ‘fraud-proof health cards, valid anywhere in the 50 states, 10 provinces or three territories. Americans would not be entitled to this benefit.’ In total, the United States would pay Canada about $17-trillion in debt bonds in exchange for our agreement to merge.”
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